May 25 - Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

It is so hard to type with my laptop nearly at my chin level.

I'm frustrated with the house being a mess.

It has gotten to the point that the fun of patio camping is wearing off and I just want to be done with all this and back to normal.

The house smells of wood dust.  Everything is coated.

I'm sleeping a limited amount of time outside and getting very tired.

I woke up early, as always, ready for my computer and "being time" alone, but I ended up deciding to upgrade my computer security software that was coming due instead.  I just knew it was going to be a hassle and it was.  I am reminded why I prefer to by a disk rather than purchase it online.  First, they make you agree to automatic renewals.  There is no step to skip it.  Second, installation never goes easy.

The installer uninstalled my current version.  Fine.  Computer restart.  Wait.  Open installer.  It runs.  It makes it restart again.  Open installer.  In runs.  I have to add my serial number and it says it is not valid.  I check it over and over against the email.  What am I to do now? I'm stuck with no security on my computer.  Left vulnerable.  I log in.  Yep.  It shows the same serial number and also recognizes my payment and new expiration date.  Now what?  I guess I have to contact support.  There is no phone number to call.  There is no email support.  There is no chat support.  There are merely help files that are no help.  Now what?  I google my problem.  Why is this so hard?  Finally I find a help page that tells me to choose a different installer.  Um, this IS the installer that came in the email!  Okay.  I will try a different one. I have to wait for it to download and unpack, again. Finally, I am able to get past the serial number step.  More restarting.

I'm trying to be thankful that I am doing this on a day off work because if I were trying to do it before work, I would be leaving it undone and be even more frustrated.

Then I am reading emails and I find that one of my domain names for a blog that I closed long ago is renewing yet again.  I remember that last year I could not figure out how to cancel it and I am determined to do so this year.  How crazy is it!  It is not easy.  They want you to log into  an app account and yet I only have used one id and password to create the blog which is now gone and that log in does not work.  I literally spend a great amount of time searching the internet for an answer.  Finally, I find a link in a help thread to a password reset.  The password reset from the log-in page did not work, so I am desparate to try everything.  Finally, I am in the account, but  the i.d. was something like  No wonder I could not figure it out!  How would I have known that? Then I could not figure out how to cancel.  First I had to get passed the screen wanting me to enter my new credit card information without entering it.  I surely don't want to give them this info.  The whole thing is so difficult.

Such a waste of my time.

By this time I've been up a while, since I believe 5:30 a.m., and hubby is waking up.  Early.  Early for him.  Sigh.  I still have not had my "being time" alone with God.  I still have not started my bible journaling layout.

I attempt to work on my bible journaling, which requires hours of thought and study, literally.  Hubby decides to start working on the bedroom, which I am thankful for his work, but there is interruption after interruption.  Even the dogs won't leave me alone.  They want in my lap.  They hear something outside and want to be let out.  Tizzy wants to play.  They want in my lap.  Hubby asks another question.  And I am an empty nester with no children and still suffer with no "being time."  I normally get my time early in the morning while they are sleeping for hours longer than me, but not today!  I've restarted my thought process so many times I just feel frustrated.

By the time I finish my layout and blog it and share it in other places, most of the morning is gone and I am frustrated.  I should feel blessed by my study of God's promise of rest, but instead I'm frustrated.

I decide to start working on putting the Retro Room back together.  I had already discovered a hard lump spot on the floor.  It had to be sanded and revarnished.   One step back. Will this ever end?  Hubby had already done that this morning.  Everything has to be wiped down and vacuumed or washed.   The tablecloth has been washed, so I lay it down.  I wash the vase and artificial flower and put it on the table.  I begin to lay down the magazines on the table which knocks over the flower and the red of the washed flower has created stained water which drips all over my tablecloth.  One step back.  Take it all off.  Wash and scrub the tablecloth three times until the stain comes out.  Hang it out to dry.  Sigh.

The vacuum itself is so disgusting and just blows out the smell of dust.  It must have taken me 45 minutes just to clean the vacuum.

Everything I touch seems to mess up.  So I decide I'm just tired and head outside to take a nap while hubby is painting on the bedroom walls.  I discover one of the new glasses is broke.  What!  It was setting on the "serving shelf" which our mattress is up against and a pillow had fallen on it and broke the stem.  Thankfully we did not spend much money on it and we still have the other.  Sigh.

I cannot sleep after trying, so I decide to install the computer security software on the outdoor laptop.  Yep.  More problems. One step back. Apparently the installer for this computer has to be a 32 bit instead of a 64 bit and I need to search out and download another installer. Unpacking installer.  Restart.  Restart again.  More waiting. More restarting.  More testing of patience.

Hubby finishes one wall in the bedroom and we move my dresser back in.  We cannot pick it up and it ends up scratching the floor.  One step back.  Now the floor will have to be sanded on the scratches and revarnished.  We decide to wait until we move in his dresser, the nightstand, and the cedar chest before he fixes the floor, so he continues to paint.  We get them moved in, but not before cleaning them well.  I've decided nothing is going back in any room until it is cleaned well.  More scratches.  When the floor is redone, will I have to re-clean everything in the room too? One step back.

By this time it is nearly 6 p.m. and I wonder where my day has gone and am feeling even more frustrated.  Yes, we can walk down the hallway now, but the bed frame is still in the living room and we have piles of stuff everywhere from the bedroom and the mattress is still outside and I'm hungry and hot.  I run to the store to get some snacks because we don't feel like cooking.

When he finally finishes in the room, we retire to the bed on the patio to watch t.v. on the laptop and munch on nachos.  I'm exhausted and I feel like I've gotten nothing done all day and my house is still a mess.  I do not function well when my environment is a mess (for so many days) and I feel unproductive.  It just gets me down.

My world seems a mess as I watch people losing their life and homes in the flooding in Texas and Oklahoma and it puts my problems into perspective.

This is not the Memorial Day I would have expected.  I make a quick graphic to share on Facebook of my grandparent's gravestones at Jefferson Barracks which I took after my Uncle Bob's graveside service there in April.  I had put roses on all the stones.  I left off my husband's second wife and felt guilty, but she is buried there too.

Tomorrow is a new day.  Two steps forward.


anitab said…
Oh dear! I'm hoping things have gone better yesterday and today! (On the other hand, it is comforting to hear of someone else having this kind of a day...and, you're right, about the news putting things in perspective. But, why doesn't that make us 'feel' better? sigh!)
Hummie B said…
Thanks Anita. Yes, time is the only thing that seems to make things feel better.

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